Let’s turn the clock back, to 2016. We were living in a small, 2 bed Victorian house, on the most cramped street you could imagine.
The street itself was incredibly narrow, with cars parked on either side. Quite frequently, you couldn’t park anywhere near your own house (I’m talking a 10 minute walk away here – yes, I know, first-world problems) and at this time, Robbie was a traffic-diver. He would try to escape as soon as we left the house, walking along the street with him was out of the question. It was stressful and dangerous. We will talk more about his escapology career soon.
The whole road was full of residents who would look out of their windows periodically to see if someone had moved their car, so that they could move their own closer. You could see the tension along the street, along with the litter.
It was a horrible place to live.
The house itself was cramped and in a poor state of repair, so we frequently had a handy-man round to try and make it more habitable. Enter, Darren.
Darren was a nice man, who would always take the time to say hello to Robbie and engage with him if Robbie chose to. He would always give warning if he was going to use a drill, to enable me time to put on Robbie’s ear defenders. He was quiet, unobtrusive and a good handyman.
However, as it later transpired, unfortunately, Darren also was tall, with dark brown hair and around the same age as Robbie’s daddy.
One day, he knocked at the door. I had forgotten to warn Robbie, so he ran up, distractedly, and cuddled Darren, saying “Daddy!” Darren put his hand down to ruffle Robbie’s hair and said “ahh mate!”
I’m going to pause here to prepare you. I am giving YOU the preparation we sorely needed, as we had no idea of the bomb that had just detonated in our lives.
Robbie looked up and I saw the expression of happiness on his darling little face, die. He went blank. He visibly drew his emotions inside himself, turned and ran up the (incredibly steep and narrow – yes, it still rankles) stairs.
I reassured Darren that he hadn’t done anything wrong and followed Robbie up.
Let’s just say, I have a good idea of what witnessing an exorcism is like.
As my sister in law said to me afterwards, embarrassment is a horrible emotion, for both adults and children. Let alone an autistic child who had only been on this earth for 4 years and who hadn’t experienced it before.
Robbie started making scarily detailed death threats against Darren. Darren never knew of these – sorry Darren, you have no idea how close you were to being “ended” by a four year old – and some of the more descriptive ones include –
“I want to spin him around like crazy until he dies”
“I want to push him in a train door and cut him in half”
“I want to cut his hands off” – the hand one was particularly horrible, because it was Darren’s hand that touched him as he ruffled his hair. An eye for an eye? Mafia-esque retribution? Had Robbie been watching The Godfather? Darren had no idea of how close he came to losing his livelihood. And hands.
These threats would keep coming up in discussion, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, every quiet moment in between. He would be playing, look up at me with those big, seemingly innocent blue eyes, and ask, “can I have an axe for my birthday?”
“Erm, why Robbie?”
“So I can chop Darren’s head off.”
We tried so hard to move him past this. Of course, it should go without saying that 99% of it was for Robbie’s emotional health and well-being, but, well, let’s be honest here.
The house was a hole and I still needed the jobs done.
I would speak to Robbie beforehand to prepare him for Darren’s
visits, and ensure that he was suitably distracted with technology to minimise
the interaction between them. Over time,
(a year!) the embarrassment faded, and we started to move on from the incident.
This was a lesson for us all, in terms of predicting possible scenarios for Robbie. Over time, both his dad and I have become proficient at completing mental risk-assessments when we are planning something. Some of these we have committed to paper. Unfortunately, this couldn’t have been foreseen. It was a strange and complex one.
Just know, that if you do happen to cross Robbie, he can plan your demise brutally and efficiently.
Other than that, he’s a charming little boy.
